Down The Highway: An Advice Column for Emos - 7
January 27, 2007
Dear DtH,
I
have never been laid in my life. Ever. I mean, I try to make a move and
get some every now and then, but I really can’t. Pathetic. you see, I’m
just an ugly piece of crap and I’m never gonna get the taste of a
female in my life ever.
Human, that is.
You see, I was passing by my grandma’s farm the other day,
and I saw this cow. And well, she was the finest specimen of bovine
meat ever. And I’m using “meat” liberally. So I went to the cow, and I
got a whiff it’s aroma… and… and… and…
I’m not gonna go into the specifics, but let me just say grandma caught
the cow and me with my pants down and we’re getting married this week.
I want a HUMAN wife, DtH!
What have I gotten myself into?! (please, no “beef curtain” puns)
– Desperate for Bovine
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