I’m Old! And Broke! And Fat! Happy Birthday Yay!
April 23, 2008
So today, I turned 25. Dammit, I’m old.
I don’t know. I used to look forward to my birthday
because birthdays bring with them gifts, parties, and a generally happy
atmosphere. Now I just dread them, mainly because it’s a reminder that
I’ve wasted another year passed by with me doing nothing but writing
profane jokes in what the kids call a “blog” (seriously, what the hell
is this thinggummy you kids call blogs? Is it an online diary or
something? Coz that’s so gay).
So to start off my birthday, the construction workers in our street
greeted me by way of this awesome dialogue repeated ad nauseam, a.k.a. conspiracy flashback:
Guy: PUTANG INA NAMAN! MAGSAING KA NA! MAGTATRABAHO PA AKO!
Wife: LECHE KA! KUNG DI MO INUBUS ANG PERA NATIN SA GIN KAGABI MAY ISASAING AKO!
Son: Ang iingay nyo! Di ako makapag konsentreyt sa
laru ko! Binabato ko lahat ng dumadaan dito eh! Tapos mamaya sisinghot
pa ako ng rugby habang kumakanta ng Salbakuta.
Guy: Ang galing mo anak! Keep it up, tatanda ka na katulad ko!
Son: Oo naman tay, idol kita eh! Hay payb!
I seriously don’t know of a better way to start off a birthday. A
knifefight maybe? With the end result of one of the construction
worker’s guts on the street just in front of our house? That would be
perfect, but you have to remember: they took out the streets in our
village and turned them into muddy mush!
Anyway, to remind me of my impending mortality (and alleged ambiguous sexuality. Those assholes), the monkeys over at The Man Blog Forum gave me these gifts:
Pau first figured out it was my birthday. Glad that there was somebody catching up with his age, he gave me this:
A Google image search result for the keywords “Ade gay”. Go figure.
